Graham Norton's Advice

[kport]

Graham Norton, a popular BBC TV and Radio presenter and comedian, has an Agony Aunt column in the Saturday edition of The Daily Telegraph. Last Saturday's Letter of the Week contained a letter from a mother whose 14 year old son played in an amateur football league run by her husband, a keen footballer. Her son is only moderately interested, preferring music, and loves dancing, much to his father's embarrassment. His mother warned him that his father would have a fit if he asked him for dancing lessons; still he did ask and the father reacted accordingly, thinking that after a stern talk, the situation was 'resolved'. The son asked his mother if she would pay for the lessons; hence her letter to Graham.

Graham's response (shortened for clarity) struck me as nigh on perfect:

'I'm not a parent but I like to think I'd be a little less blinkered than your husband....As the voice of reason, I fear you will have to be the go-between......Does he (the dad) think it will lead to bullying? Is he worried your son is gay or does it reflect badly on his own masculinity?........As a 14 year old at school, your son will know more about bullying than you or your husband and is willing to take the risk. When it comes to masculinity and sexuality, it seems crazy to build them into huge issues that will in turn become enormous barriers between you all.......

......Up to now you have had a man and a boy in the house and it is only natural that as the boy becomes a man in his own right, there will be conflict.......Your husband isn't going to get the perfect mini-me, so stop looking for someone who isn't there and start seeing the young man you have raised.

If you want something to grow, it's always best to encourage it, not step on it with a heavy boot. If all else fails, sit them both down in front of a DVD of Billy Elliot. Good luck.'

[ERinVA]

Thanks for posting this, kport. I would love to read a follow-up from this mother, wouldn't you?

As for watching the film of Billy Elliot, I would encourage her to buy tickets and take her husband and son to see the show at the VPT.