A real life Michael?

[CJ-Rochester]

This article appeared in today's New York Times, about a young boy who wore a dress to school. The title alone makes one think of the "Expressing Yourself" number. There is some interesting discussion about gender nonconformity, quite a complex subject.

What’s So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress?
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/12/magaz ... d=fb-share

[Todd]

Yeah, that would be a tough one to deal with as a parent. While the child might feel like he's doing what feels natural to him, the parents would know that he would basically be setting himself up as a target for ridicule by other kids at school by wearing clothes of the opposite sex.

At the school where I teach, we have a dress code of certain types of clothing that can't be worn (t-shirts with profane, drug-related or sexual comments, shorts that are too short, etc.) Everything else falls in the broad category of "nothing that disrupts the learning process." So while students have the right to express themselves by wearing unusual clothing (up to a point), they don't have the right to do or wear things that might disrupt the learning of other students. This seems to be the part that's often over-looked by the "individual's rights" crowd.

[ERinVA]

Michael does not strike me as "gender fluid," the term the parents in the lead for this article use for their son. As written, Michael's character is a cross-dresser, but he unquestionably knows his gender, which is male.

I admire the courage of the families featured in this article as they try to do what is best for their children. On the other hand, as a classroom teacher for my whole career, I agree with what Todd has said about school dress codes. Nothing is ever easy, is it?

[kport]

If you revisit the movie, the scenes of Billy and Michael in school show that they (like virtually all British school children) wear a uniform. Not a dress code, but a uniform. The thinking behind that is 1) tradition 2) it keeps appearances neutral and non-competitive 3) it 'engenders' camaraderie and cohesion, and 4) it is far less expensive than outfitting a fashion parade of expensive jeans, trainers and the like. In fact, throughout the movie Billy wears only his school uniform or the trackies and striped polo shirts, or PE shorts and white singlet. A very inexpensive outfit, to be sure.

While American sensibilities often rail against school uniforms, I have never had a UK parent (or indeed an ex-pat American parent) make one complaint about school uniforms; most loved haunting the school second hand shop for bargains; even landed gentry and wives of international CEOs and famous actresses. Why waste money at Harrods or Peter Jones? And the second hand blazers look better! Turning up the first day of term in shiny new cords is just, well, Naff!

I agree with Todd: for a boy to stand out among his peers as somewhat 'odd' due to what he is wearing would make him a social pariah; the uniform would provide a social cushion for him at school; not his choice, but then again nothing for him to be criticized over. Michael kept his private 'life' private, sharing it only with his best friend.

[angelenroute]

I'm still reading the article here and there since it's so long. A good reminder too is that just as Michael wouldn't be considered gender variant, neither would this little boy be yet considered homosexual or bisexual. The issue is his gender identity, not sexual attraction, which in most cases wouldn't have really kicked in yet anyway at that age.

I think what's most interesting in this day and age is seeing how human beings develop naturally when society doesn't tell them what to think, believe, or how to act. It seems clear that most of us like the gender we are born as and feel comfortable being a guy or being a lady, it feels completely right, and so my heart goes out to people who grow up with such conflicting feelings. I hope and pray that kids today are feeling more acceptance, empathy, and understanding from their families and friends. And wherever possible, schools and other situations and organizations must do everything possible to make all of their students feel comfortable, not just the majority. I believe there's a way, especially if training starts as early as possible.

No matter what your personal sexual orientation is, gender identity and personal expression are still very much unknown territories, and I hope those who face this kind of thing continue to educate us all in what they're going through and experiencing.

[ERinVA]

Regarding school uniforms: There are actually some ordinary public schools in the US that have gone to uniforms for the reasons you have mentioned, kport. At least one school in our local system has uniforms. These uniforms are not especially fancy--mostly just khakis and polo shirts with the school logo, etc. In such cases, both girls and boys would probably wear the pants instead of there being any requirement that girls wear skirts, as khaki pants are easier to find in stores all over the place than specific skirt styles. But where they exist, school uniforms in public schools seem to be confined to grade and middle schools.

In the case of a school where boys' uniforms require pants, and girls' uniforms require skirts, the "gender fluid" boy will still have a problem because if he chooses the uniform for the opposite sex, first, he won't be allowed to wear it, and second, if he is, he will be ridiculed.

[kport]

This story was floating around a year or so ago; the reaction from the other kids and the school indicate that 'times have changed a bit' since Easington back in 1984.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-be ... s-13362700

I don't think his 'protest' would go down well in America, however; at least in the Bible Belt. Perhaps in a university town.